Laying things to rest.
It's been well over a month since my grandma passed. It's been harder than expected on all of us. My mom had not been back inside grandma's house until just last week. I still have not ventured back in. I think we've all been kind of keeping ourselves busy with work, the upcoming holidays, and even some remodeling. My mom and I have been a bit lax in making out Thank You cards, but not one card, plant, or other thoughtful gift has gone unthankful or unappreciated. One card I was surprised to find was from Tiffany and Deidra. I was very pleased when I read the name on the address, and even more so when the card was signed from both of them. I've got it hidden away in my top dresser drawer. Thank you ladies. I have not dismissed that card one bit. We really need to get together. Put away all that old stuff, y'know?
The funeral was a terrible ordeal, emotionally. I don't like funerals. I think it just tortures the surviving family and friends even more. I just tried not to think about why I was there and focused on greeting the family. It was a closed-casket, so that helped alot. It's just weird to sit around while a loved one is on display. The service went on for quite awhile, and I was squirming the whole time wanting it to be over. At the cemetery we released balloons in my grandma's honor. I thought that was pretty weird, but I didn't say anything. I knew any opinion I had would hurt my mom's already fragile feelings.
As of now my grandma's place remains. There's still the process of going through her things and then having the place hauled out. There's not one day that goes by that I don't expect her living room light to be on with her sitting in her chair. I didn't think it would be this hard. I figured when her time came, it would be a blessing for her. Those suffering from dementia is not only hard for their loved-ones, but I imagine they cannot be happy themselves. This woman helped raise me, and now she's gone. I'm trying to think of stuff like that rather than how she passed.
And now for something more alien.
I am now 18 weeks pregnant! We found out on Tuesday that we are having a boy. No names have been agreed upon yet. For awhile I was scared to death, which is why I haven't been saying much about the pregnancy. I guess I'm just a freak. I know the first trimester is crucial, so I was paranoid with worry over having a miscarriage. I don't like being pregnant. I suppose most women do, but again..I'm weird. I feel terrible all the time. My migraines have tripled. I basically have one every day. I can't really take anything for them though. The doc did prescribe some migraine meds, but as with all migraine meds, they have to be taken at the onset of a migraine. Soooo when I wake up with a hardcore migraine, I just have to suffer through it. Yay. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited as hell about the baby! I just want the stork to drop him off already.
My doctor is Elizabeth Riseling over at Methodist Germantown. I really like her, which is an uncommon sentiment about doctors for me. I don't usually trust/like doctors. They're vampires, I tell you! She makes me feel comfortable though.
I'm due on May 9, the month of birthdays surrounding me. There's my grandma's (May 11), Drew's (May 23), my papaw's (May 24), and mine (May 31). Unless the baby refuses to come out til the 22nd, I'm having a Taurus boy. Heaven help us! Now if we can only figure out a name..
